CLH Words

I am a fan of taking things slow, of false starts, retrying, and doing things your own way. This is the third, or maybe fourth at this point, intro to a blog that I have written for myself in the past year. I am truly on criptime.

               The reason I wrote so many, the reason I was struggling to find the words, was because I was not ready. I was not in a place where I could create. I was not in a place where I could plan and think and dream. I was busy surviving. The past year or so of my life has been wild and uncertain. So much has changed, mostly me. I am a different person now, and will be a different person soon. So in the mean time, I write, I create, I dream.

               This is my blog, Herb Garden. I love nature. I chose my name, Chamomile, from a plant. I have many a house plants that I manage to keep alive (and a few that I haven’t). To me, Herb Garden is a place to come, to plant and tend. It is a place where I can write and share. And like a herb garden, it has no singular purpose. Herbs provide medicine, tea, seasoning, and more for us. But they also are part of the natural ecosystem, beyond us. They provide mulch, homes for native insects, flowers for pollinators, and so much more. That is what I want this blog to be. I want it to be a space for me to plant and tend my ideas and writing. A place that can provide stuff not only for me and my community, but for everyone. I want my ideas to bloom and bring beauty and hope into this world. And I want to do so in a way that is truly sustainable, both for myself and the community.

               So that is my goal. I will be posting various things here. Some will be well polished essays, others will be short fiction, and others my thoughts and ideas about the world in a rough draft. All of it mine, but all that I put out into the world in hopes that they grow and provide for others.

               As I have said, this is a place of my creation. I suppose I should introduce myself. I am CLH, or Chamomile. I am a writer, activist, writer, friend, and so much more. I came out as transgender over five years ago. I have been disabled, and proud, much longer. I am queer. I am autistic and have ADHD. I am blind. I am a feminist. All of this shapes me and affects what I see and think. Yet, I must also recognize the other aspects of my identities, the ones that bring me privilege, demand that I stay silent on as they scream that they are the default. I am white. I am middle class. I am a citizen of the U.S.A by birth. I am a culturally christen goy. All of these are me too. All of those and more shape me and my work.

               Please keep who I am in mind as you read my work. I do not claim that everything I say here is fact, only that they are my facts. I am learning and exploring this fucked up world we have inherited. I am doing my best to live true to myself while unlearning the harmful ideas taught to us by society. Yet I am only me. I am not perfect. But I will try to be better. This is a garden, so I must grow. I will be posting more advanced ideas here; I am not interested (mainly because so many more qualified people have done it before me) in providing intro information about social justice causes. I seek to use my position to explore the world. This may be a bit advanced to someone who is just starting out on their anti-racist, anti-colonialist, anti-capitalist journey. I am writing this as me, from my place and not everyone will understand, but everyone is welcome to try.

               That is all I have to say for this post. I do not have a plan on any sort of schedule for posting other than post when I am inspired. I look forward to continuing to write and hope you find the time to read. I want to build something beautiful and would love you to be a part of it.