CLH Words

You should read Discworld. I feel like I am always recommending Terry Prachett to anyone who will listen (and many who won’t), and for good reason. While I have only read a dozen or so of his books (not even close to half of Discworld) every one I have read, was not only a delight, but also stuck with me. Prachett’s works shape how I view the world. Yet, recently I have found myself thinking of one specific scene in his book Lords and Ladies. While I have not actually read this one yet (again, Discworld is such a massive series), I saw a quote from it on Tumblr and it reshaped how I think.

               I often find myself thinking about what could have been if only so-so didn’t happen or if only I did this instead of that. I think this is something most people are prone to do. We all have regrets, and it is natural to think about them. However, as Prachett points out in this quote, there is no use in thinking too hard about what could have been. He writes:

“Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you’d said yes?” said Ridcully.

“No.”

“I suppose we’d have settled down, had children, grandchildren, that sort of thing…”

“What about the fire?” she said.

 “What fire?”

“‘Swept through our house just after we were married. Killed us both.”

 “What fire? I don’t know anything about any fire?”

Granny turned around. “Of course not! It didn’t happen. But the point is, it might have happened. You can’t say ‘if this didn’t happen then that would have happened’ because you don’t know everything that might have happened. You might think something’d be good, but for all you know it could have turned out horrible. You can’t say ‘If only I’d …’ because you could be wishing for anything. The point is, you’ll never know. You’ve gone past. So there’s no use thinking about it. So I don’t.”

  The beauty of this scene, to me, is that it perfectly shuts down what makes thinking about all those what-ifs so enticing for me. It reminds me that the control over the past I perceive is a false one, that anything I think could have been is as likely as any other option, and that ultimately it does not mater because there never was a fire. The past is the past and we cannot change that so there really is no use wasting our time on what-ifs.

               Yet, recently I have been thinking of this outside the context of my own life. I have seen so much discussion around what if Kamala Harris had won in November instead of Trump. Now, often the people saying this are liberals whining about how if everyone had just held their nose and voted none of *gestures around at the dumpster fire of the present moment* would be happening right now. And I understand this I-told-you-so sentiment. I voted for Harris. I encouraged my friends to. I got upset at someone who didn’t vote. The day after election day was a rough day for me. I get it, I really do. But, every time I see someone say how if only back in November… I think about the fire. I think about the coup (attempt), or her getting covid and dying days before inauguration, or the worsening tension with so-and-so nation that lead to global war, or or or the fire.

               We do not know what would have happened if Harris had won instead. A sign at a recent anti-Trump protest went viral. It said, “If Kamala Was President We Would All Be At Brunch.” This implies that if she had only won, everything would be fine. We do not know this. Yes, Trump is evil and his policies have impacted us greatly. But, we do not know that everything would be fine with Harris. In fact, it is very doubtful that it would be. Biden’s presidency was not great. He had children in cages, made any true end to the COVID pandemic impossible, and allowed for the continuation of environmental harm, just to name a few. Harris would most likely have continued this legacy, the legacy of American empire and colonialism. We do not know what would have happened, but it is unlikely that all our problems would be solved and all our battles won.

               Yet, I do believe that if Harris had won, that many people would be at brunch. Many people have made it clear they are willing to ignore the harm being done as long as their favored candidate is the one doing it. They are okay with the lesser of two evils, not because it is lesser but because it is not actually evil to them. And here I find myself almost forgetting the fire. I do not know if mass protests against down right evil policies would be happening if Harris had won. But I do know that they are happening now. And that is what matters. People are resisting Trump, being called to action and looking to change the world for the better. For me to call them out on if they would be doing it if only Harris had won, is pointless. I do not know what could have been, only that there is resistance now. To waste my time thinking on that is to ignore the present momentum.                We cannot know about the fires of what could have been. We cannot bury our heads in the sands of possibilities and whine about one thing gone wrong. The thing about looking at the past is that it makes us miss that we currently have power over the now. We cannot change what has happened, nor know what would have happened if we could. But we can change what we are doing about the now. We need to focus on that and decide what the future we want is. Because we cannot know what would have happened if November had played out differently, but we can sure as hell fight the dumpster fire of the now.